THIS MONTH’S CONCEPTS & TOOLS
The thinking trap of “what-if…” & Intolerance of Uncertainty
Breaking the Cycle of Overthinking
“What if she gets angry at me after I tell her?”
“What if I fail my exam?”
“What if we don't have enough money saved to handle a sudden emergency?”
“What if I crash my car?”
“What if I make a massive mistake at work and lose my job?”
“What if I never find the right person and spend my life completely alone?”
“What if…”
The list of “what-ifs” that you’ve probably thought of before can go on and on — spiraling into a cycle of imagined negative scenarios and anxiety. These questions are most often driven by a fear of the unknown, specifically, a lack of certainty and a sense of control about the future, which no one can predict. Ambiguity is an inevitable part of being human. Yet, we still attempt to have some sense of control by imagining every worst-case scenario so we can be “ready for anything.” However, this illusion of control neither secures our future nor eliminates uncertainty; it simply increases our present stress and worry.
This difficulty with handling the unknown actually has a name in psychology: intolerance of uncertainty (IU). A high IU often presents as a constant demand for certainty, a sense of control, and a deep discomfort with the unknown. Some other signs of high IU can include the following:
Always interpreting ambiguous information negatively — like assuming a vague email from your boss about a meeting means you’re in trouble or made a massive mistake with something.
Jumping to worst-case scenarios, even when the likelihood of them becoming a reality is very low. For example, you notice a sudden, minor twitch in your eyelid and immediately research rare neurological conditions rather than attributing it to something more likely like fatigue or too much caffeine.
Excessively seeking reassurance from others (“are you sure you’re not mad?”) or constantly checking things like locks and appliances.
Struggling to make decisions, especially when the choices have unclear outcomes. For example, you spend two hours reading dozens of reviews for a basic kitchen appliance, unable to pick one because none of them offer a 100% guarantee that it won’t break down.
Breaking the Cycle of Overthinking: How to Manage Uncertainty
If any of these scenarios feel familiar, you know how exhausting it is to live in a loop of worst-case “what-ifs.” But the goal isn’t to eliminate the unknown — it’s to change how you react to it. With a few practical techniques you can retrain how your brain responds to ambiguity.
Recognize, Refuse, and Replace What-If Thinking
Take notice of when your mind starts asking “What if…?” questions about the future. Take notice of the situations and thoughts that spark that urge to have all the answers, and pay attention to your physical and emotional response to the unknown. Being aware of your reactions to uncertainty allows you to interrupt automatic mental loops and replace them with effective coping tools.
Remind yourself that imagining issues or worst-case scenarios just generates worry, not genuine solutions. Ultimately, worrying about outcomes does not cause or prevent them from happening. Objectifying your thoughts by labeling them as “worry thoughts” can also help you stay grounded in the present reality rather than potential scenarios. For example, speak out loud about the thought next time: “I am having the worry thought of…” and then say the thought.
Then replace “what-if” questions with statements that acknowledge uncertainty. For example, instead of “What if I get rejected from this job?” try, “I may or may not get the job, but if I’m rejected, I can learn from the experience and apply elsewhere.” By purposefully shifting from “what-ifs” to grounded statements, you stop feeding your anxiety the certainty it craves. This redirects your focus away from trying to control an unpredictable future and toward the present reality and what you can actually control — your own response — helping you build comfort with the unknown.
Becoming comfortable with the unknown also starts by not responding to the urge for certainty. Try to resist unhelpful behaviors that pull you back into the spiral of playing out “what-if” scenarios, more anxiety, and more overthinking. This might mean resisting the impulse to constantly seek reassurance, re-reading a text ten times before sending it, or meticulously planning for hours your responses to your low-probability “what-if” scenarios.
Worrying about outcomes does not cause or prevent them from happening — it only makes you suffer through scenarios that may never exist.
A Final Christian-Based Thought of Encouragement
For those who are Christian, learning to loosen our grip on the need for certainty and control can also mean learning to place our trust in God, who holds the future and promises to be with us through whatever we may face. You can change your “what-ifs” to “even-ifs,” such as, “Even if something goes wrong, God will be with me and help me through it.” We know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him (Rom. 8:28), and we are called to trust in Him with all our hearts and not lean on our own understanding (Prov. 3:5–6). We don’t have to face uncertainty alone, knowing that God is with us and sustains us wherever we go.
References: 1) Lucchetti, Lorenzo. Fear of the Unknown: Definition, causes, and how to overcome. Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/fear-of-the-unknown 2) Guy-Evans, O. (2024). What Is Intolerance Of Uncertainty?. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/intolerance-of-uncertainty.html 3)McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2021). Thoughts and feelings: Taking control of your moods and your life. New Harbinger Publications, Inc. 4) Pittman, C. M., & Hoffman, M. Z. (2024). 50 Ways to Rewire your anxious brain simple skills to soothe anxiety and create new neural pathways to calm. New Harbinger Publications.
“You will keep them in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because they trust in You.”
Isaiah 26:3